The Republican with a Mohawk
This one is from late July, but I never got around to posting about him before.
This one I met on Chemistry and his name was Ryan. I figured that we would have a lot in common considering that we were “matched” based on our personalities and the questionaire they have you take up front. (Considering that I have been matched with every type of personality on there, I am really starting to doubt the entire personality profile approach to internet dating.)
So, I was drawn to him right away. Mostly becasue he looked pretty unconventional. Most of my regular readers know that I am not a big fan of the average man next door look- preppie, yuppie, christian, short hair and ultra clean cut. In a couple of his picutes he had styled his hair into a mohawk, mostly just for the picute. He had a lot of tattoos and a couple of piercings and just was an all around cool sounding person. Plus the poses in his picture were so funny.
We go through the Chemistry process, which consists of short questions and longer questions, and I don’t remember what else. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that we “breezed” through this process. One of us gets brave and sends a phone number. The phone conversation is great! I really like this guy a lot. We have the exact same sense of humor. And we agree on everything we are talking about. So, I mention I will be in his area the next day and would he like to meet at Starbucks.
I have to take a short side trip here to discuss Starbucks and dating. I absolutely love what Starbucks has meant to the dating world. Of course I hate Starbucks and think it is the beginning of the end of modern civilizatiion. However, putting that aside for a bit, it is a great place to meet someone new. First of all, no liquor, this is a great idea as liquor leads to bad judgement. Instead of that, we have coffee, or as I like to call it: life’s blood. I really believe that we make better dating choices under stimulants than under seditives. Plus they are freaking everywhere! That makes it so easy.
I stroll in about 15 minutes late. The worst thing about not having a cell phone is when you are running late (this date was during the 2 months I went without a mobile.) You can’t call the guy to say that you are running late. It really bites because he is stuck there thinking that I stood him up! Poor puppy.
He is really cute, we sit down and have an amazing time. Now friends, you know me. I am a fan of men in almost any form. Yummy! I don’t have a favorite eye color or hair color. My height requirement is “taller than me”, which is very easy because I am 5′4″. I can date skinny, muscular, overweight. To me it about the smile, and how he uses what he has. (Plus a really nice cock always helps!) Having said all of that, the guy is HUGE!!! I mean really, really big. 3X for sure. He must be at least 300. I have dated 250, no problem. Even Ryan’s size would have been ok- but he listed himself on the dating site as “ABOUT AVERAGE”.
WTF!!!!
I am one dress size past the average size of an American woman and I list myself as a few extra pounds, just so that there is no disappointment. This should have been my first sign that the guy was fucking delisional. Other than this one thing, the date was wonderful.
Jump forward a couple of days. We are on the phone and I brought up something about the election. I’m not about to go over everystatement the two of us made, but let’s just put it this way: He is an elephant and I am a nice piece of ass.
I was heartbroken. This guy was so close to what I wanted. He was really funny, cute, tall, had my sense of style, we liked all the same movies and music. Even our feelings about religion were the same. He had no kids, never been married, was early 30’s, financially stable and was ready to settle down. It was so perfect.
But the guy is 110% behind McCain and all Republicans for that matter. His fiscal opinions were so conservative that I almost called him a facist. Anyway, I told him that I could not date someone who held the beliefs he had. I’m glad I did it, no worries about that. What got to me was this response:
“I enjoy diversity among people. I really want to date someone as narrow minded as you.”
OK Mr. “Thinks G.W. is smart because his party tells him to.”
And the search continues…….
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