I’m 34 going on 17….

My boyfriend has the task of watching his parent’s house and dog when they are out of town. For the most part, it seems like an easy gig, just hanging around, getting the paper, having access to cable when he normally doesn’t. The dog is a bit needy, but what lab isn’t?? It’s not like she is Marley or anything… but she is an attention whore, and has a special diet. (You have to add a scrambled egg to her dog food.)

So overall it is an easy gig. There is only one thing that is important to keep in mind: don’t get too comfortable because you are still someone else’s house. The last night I spent over there with him, we were feeling particularly romantic and decided to stay in bed the entire next day. We napped, made love, drank water, had sex, ate some food, did it some more. It was a great day.

Until his parents showed up two days early. We were laying in bed, holding each other, and all of a sudden I hear, “Hello? Is anyone here?” and I immediately recognied the voice as his father’s. My boyfriend jumped up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and bolted down the stairs. He had to gather our clothes, which were strewn all over the living room and say hello to both of them. Meanwhile, I am still in the bed, hiding under the covers completely mortififed. (In his rush, he forgot to close the door, and there is no way I am getting out of the bed naked and risk one of them coming upstairs and seeing everything.) Finally he comes back upstairs and we get dressed.

I don’t know where his dad went, but we came down the stairs and I had to have a polite conversation with his mom while picked up the rest of his things. She even was nice enough to say that we didn’t have to rush off. But what else could we do? We were totally embarassed. I am a 34 year old woman. he is a 35 year old man, and suddenly we felt like promiscuous teenagers again. I must have turned seven different shades of red. It is such a shame that we live in such a puritanical society where sex is something that we all do, we all love, but most of us can’t stand to talk about or acknowledge.

I have never been anywhere near that embarassed about sex in my entire life. I am usually very open about it, and not ashamed talking about it or even bragging about it a little. Those worst part is that we ran off in such a hurry and left the room upstairs totally smelling like sex. If there was a shadow of a doubt about what we were doing, I’m sure the wet, stained sheets were a dead giveaway.

~ by scifibutterfly on January 5, 2009.